Positive Manipulation

If I tried to rewind my past and go back to the precise moment when I realized I was using a manipulation process to improve my life, I most likely wouldn’t find it. Instead, I could pinpoint the antithesis and recall the exact day I realized I was using a negative manipulation process to attract all that was horrible. It was the day I took responsibility for my participation in all the abuse I endured throughout my childhood and as an adult, from the physical and emotional, to the sexual and psychological. Of course when I took responsibility for attracting negative it was not for the purpose of laying blame on myself. How could I when some of it happened when I was just a child?  The message that I learned that day, however, was very clear: “When you take responsibility, you take control. When you are in control, you have power. When you are empowered, you finally have the ability to create change!”

This is one of my most profound mantras and I share it with as many people as I can, because without this acknowledgment, we can’t believe in our ability to redirect the course of our lives. To drive this point home, think of these examples: A woman who doesn’t want to leave an abusive marriage is not only afraid of her husband’s reaction if she seeks a divorce, but also fears the possibility of being “chosen” by another abusive husband. A man who hates his job may not leave because he believes all businesses have the same problems and he is at the mercy of every employer. Another woman cleans houses instead of finding more lucrative employment because she believes other people must have caught a break to become so successful and her break just hasn’t come yet.

In the game of life, (and you can consider it a game to further aid you in simplifying the manipulation process) the thoughts you embellish in your head lead you more than the events that actually occur outside of yourself. When this becomes a reality to you, you can start to manipulate your feelings as they enter your brain. The thought, ‘I hate my job and there is nothing I can do to change it’ will become ‘My job is not satisfying, but I am going to take responsibility for attracting the lessons it is bringing in to me. I have to understand that it was necessary to be here at this time and I want to learn from the experience.’ As time goes by, the manipulation will get even more positive. ‘I have learned from the experience and now I want to attract the best job I can possibly get!’ Sounds over simplified? Well if you believe so, you have probably been making yourself work harder than you had to your entire life.

Every successful person I have ever queried, “How did you do it?” has always answered, “Simple. I never allowed myself to believe I couldn’t do it!” That statement has led me to the unmistakable understanding of two points. 1) By believing in themselves, they left no room for negativity to creep in and destroy their goal and 2) They were the ones deciding where they were going, even through setbacks and negative episodes, so they remained mentally undaunted and in control of their thought process.   When only positive energy is in your head, the negative doesn’t seem like an issue. Instead of problems that prevent, they become issues that teach, furthering you on the wonderful journey of life.  And guess what else? The more positive you are, the less negative you will continue to attract!

In the past, I have joked about considering myself a “super human”. It is the name I give to those of us who screw up more than normal, therefore deserving the status of having a super human reference. I have become superior at Positive Manipulation™, not because I created the phrase, but because I have to use it so very often. Each day brings new difficulties, some perceived and others real. There are days when low self-esteem leads me to dwell on issues much longer than necessary, but eventually I remember to KISS myself.   “Donna, for goodness sake, just turn it around!” Perhaps I have more reason than some to stay in negativity, considering what I have had to compensate for, but there are many, many more tales of woe much greater than mine that have ended splendidly. People who have overcome severe illness, handicaps and tragic episodes allow us to see what is possible when we convince ourselves of what success we can have instead of what success we don’t have.

Of course, these same people have an advantage in keeping the manipulation process alive. It is called survival. When there is a need so great you have no choice but to find a way around negativity, you tend to plow through without considering the minute details. Your inner driver is put on automatic out of necessity and therefore fueled by more than desire. But that doesn’t change the process one iota! No matter whether it is need or desire, the manipulation method is exactly the same, only the motive is different.

Although, the need to ‘prompt’ a positive thought can feel like a monumental task, what better way can you find to expel your energy? By changing your mental attitude about what happens to you, there exists all the positive energy you need to produce the results you want. If you progress in the “woe is me” stage than you will stay in the victim category, dragging in more negative episodes that you can’t control all along your life journey.

Giving yourself a KISS is a gentle reminder to your head of the simplest way out of negativity. Just remember to change your mind. Accepting responsibility for the situation you are sitting in will ultimately get you in the driver’s seat. That puts you in control of the place you want to go instead of just heading where the car wants to take you and that means you are King of both the road you end up on and the destiny you desire!

Control Mantra

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