At various points in our lives we all find it necessary to end a relationship; a marriage, business partnership, close relative or a dear friend. It doesn't matter if it was a one month fling, ten years of a friendship or thirty years of marriage. Just as there was a beginning there is an end. But why!? Is the question pondered by many. The answer _ To give each and everyone of us an opportunity to transform. To forge new beginnings, to start over, just as each life time affords us the same possibilities.
Death ensures that we let go of everything, our possessions, relationships and our memories. Even if a kinship continues into another lifetime (if you believe in past lives) the relationships changes; your wife may become your mother, sister or a close friend. What is more difficult is letting go within the lifetime itself. We still carry memories, experiences and beliefs from these previous relationships which will form the basis of our future ones. Therefore, how we end these ties can have a tremendous impact upon us in what lies ahead.
If you find yourself or a love one facing this obstacle, for we all do at some moment in our lives, here is some guidance on letting go in a more harmonious way, which should make the journey just a little bit easier.
Be Decisive If you have made a decision to leave _ Then leave! If the other person(s) has made that decision then let him/her go! It is to invite more pain and suffering into your life to hold onto something which no longer serves your highest good.
Face Your Fears Fears are created and manifested in the world, by you. Fear of financial ruin, loneliness, safety of your children etc These fears wont go away just because you chose to stay in a liaison to avoid them. Your fears will be addressed as you confront them. This alone is a good enough reason to let the relationship go. It can bring strength where there was once weakness and fear. Go into your breakup with courage _ knowing all endings have beginnings! The trick is to welcome the challenge facing you. See it as an obstacle you can overcome which will make you stronger and then go for it!
Mourn! You are human. We are all human and we suffer when we break off relationships. It is within our nature to attach ourselves to others, things, concepts and yet our journey homeward is to let these things go in order for us to grow. So mourn! It is okay, have that good cry. Sometime it can be so painful that we have to go into escapist behavior; drinking, over/under eating, shopping, internet surfing, TV watching etc to avoid the pain. Be careful for this can be more damaging than helpful. The pain is unavoidable. Its going to happen. The more we hold it in the more damage it does to us. Let it out! If you cant, then find someone to help you! The more you mourn and clear yourself of the heartache and disappointment the better you will be in your new life.
Take Responsibility! Take responsibly for your part in the break-up, even if you believe you are completely innocent. You made the decision to have the relationship for some reason. Own up to that part! For example, if you find yourself in an abusive entanglement, what part of your own karmic energy is contributing to that condition? What part of the self allowed you to stay so long in such unloving conditions? This is crucial, for if you believe you are completely innocent and you haven't done the necessary work of changing and healing yourself, you are bound to encounter the same type of person you are leaving!
Don't! Don't send any negative wishes unto the person. No matter what they have done to you. If she/he is a cheat, liar, etc, by all means call a spade a spade. But don't wish bad things to happen. Why? Because what you send out into the world comes back to you! If you find yourself on the verge of cursing someone, pray to all that is good and holy not to send these negative thoughts. Don't underestimate yourself. The more powerful you are the more damage you can do and thus the more you can do to yourself. Believe that the Universe is the one empowered to administer justice in a fair and equitable manner. In your darkest moments, rely upon its power.
Forgive! Now you are ready for the final act. Forgive yourself, for having made a mistake, for being stupid, weak, selfish, greedy, unloving to self etc... Send love to yourself. Mediate on it before you go to bed, asking you higher self to heal you. Begin to move away from your addictive behaviors; start to be proactive in your journey towards change and wellness. Love yourself, even if the other person didn't. Don't judge yourself by this failure. For it really isn't a failure at all. It is an occurrence which transpired to help you to become a better person. Become that better person! Dont let this opportunity be wasted on holding onto old ideas about yourself or others. Don't become bitter or revengeful; making promises of never loving again. Begin to think about your new life, the new you and then use love to help you manifest this person. Once you have done this you are ready to forgive others. The circle is now complete _ the debt paid! You have mastered the art of letting go!